Three sessions a fortnight apart with a look at your desk and the two drills that undo it, £135
The desk-worker package
For the people whose sport is a laptop: three forty-five-minute sessions a fortnight apart on the neck, the shoulders, the chest and the hips that eight hours of sitting shortens, with a ten-minute look at how you actually sit (bring a photo) and the two drills that undo most of it. £135, against £150 booked singly.
Half of the people on our couches do not run or ride; they sit. Eight hours a day with the head forward, the shoulders rounded and the hips bent produces the same shortened muscles as sport does, in predictable places: the chest, the front of the neck, the hip flexors, the upper traps that carry the shoulders up to the ears by four o'clock. The package treats those and, more usefully, looks at why.
The first session starts with your desk: a photo of you at it, taken by a colleague without warning, is the most useful thing you can bring. Screen height, chair height, where the mouse is, whether the laptop is a laptop. Ten minutes of that and most people can see the problem themselves. Then thirty-five minutes on the neck, the shoulders, the chest and the upper back, with the pressure agreed and the headache point found.
The second session, a fortnight later, goes lower: the hip flexors and the glutes that stop firing when you sit on them, the lower back that takes the strain, the hamstrings. The third goes back to whatever has not shifted, and checks the two drills we taught you in the first: one that opens the chest and one that wakes the glutes, each ninety seconds, done at the desk. People who do them need us less, which is the point.
Employers book the massage chair for a morning or a half day: twenty minutes a person, seated and clothed, in a meeting room, for teams of eight or more, quoted by the half day. It is the single most popular thing an office can spend money on and it is not close. We have a few firms on Newport Road and in the Bay that have us in every quarter.
What is included
- A ten-minute review of your desk from a photo
- Three forty-five-minute sessions a fortnight apart
- Neck, shoulders and chest first; hips and back second
- Two ninety-second drills to do at the desk
- £135 against £150 booked singly
- Workplace chair sessions for teams
What it costs
The package: three forty-five-minute sessions a fortnight apart with the desk review, £135. A single forty-five is £50. Workplace visits with the chair for teams of eight or more are quoted by the half day. The prices page has every length and block side by side; the treatment picker says which one fits what is bothering you.
Questions about desk workers
I get headaches by the afternoon. Is that a massage thing?
Often. Tension headaches from the upper traps and the muscles at the base of the skull respond well to treatment and better to raising your screen. We find the point in the first session and most people recognise it immediately. If the headaches have other features we send you to your GP first.
Can I just have one session?
Yes, £50, and it will help for a week or two. The package is three because the second and third are where the pattern changes, and because the drills need checking.
The next free slot is on this website. Take it.
Forty-five minutes is £50 and the usual first booking: ten minutes of talking, thirty-five hands on, a stretch and a drill written down. Pick an hour on the book page up to two hours ahead, or ring the clinic and we find you one.